Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
