Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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