i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
