he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
