Whatcha textin bout Willis?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it was like eating out sand paper
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
