P.S. I can't hear my feet
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
