I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
