Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
