HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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