TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
