I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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