im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
