What did we do last night that was yellow?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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