There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
