Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
