we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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