dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
