Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
