You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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