Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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