Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
