is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
