rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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