Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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