i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ttyl tear gas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
