we're blogging at a bar
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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