i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
