Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is my gift to your gina
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
