i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
