Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
