he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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