you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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