if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
