halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and she was petting her beer can
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
