he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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