apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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