I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Duck Duck Cougar?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
