So drunk its hurt
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
