everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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