I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
