it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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