she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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