I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think people are normalizing furries
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
