Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
sex in a hospital.. check
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
