Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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