Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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