its not stalking. its research.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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