Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
