i just google imaged poop.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
