ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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