She's JV to your varsity
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
